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To the Editor:

I am your worst nightmare:

I am a GOOD American

Did you get that piece of right-wing crap posing as an e-mail forwarded by a friend or relative? I decided it was time to construct a reply:

I have to admit it, I may be a GOOD American. My car gets 35 miles per gallon, my domestic partner just earned a PhD, I earn a big pay check, I don’t cheat on my tax, and we have no plans to get married, even though we have kids.

I believe the money borrowed by our government needs to be paid back and not stolen from my parent’s Social Security funds. I don’t trust some not to bribe his congressman into handing out both a corporate pocket liner and a personal tax break for him to buy his third Lexus.

I believe if you speak more than one language, you should be proud of this ability and should flaunt our nation’s diversity. I believe honesty is the best personal morality, regardless of which God, if any, our nation happens to be under.

I believe a village can raise a child best when that child is not the product of rape or incest. I believe if drivers must show they are competent before being given a license, at least the same rules should apply to owning a gun.

I want to know who is paying Rush Limbaugh $250 million and which parts of his script they get to change for such an investment. Why can’t he keep his story straight from day to day? And why is he so stuck on Clinton’s penis?

I believe if you were too drunk and drugged to turn up for your national guard service, it is called being AWOL. This even applies after you have been appointed president of the United States.

I think education is the best investment for the future of this nation. If we spent a tenth of our defense budget on schooling, we’d have the finest education system in the world and the lowest teen pregnancy rate at the same time. Knowledge is freedom. So why are conservatives trying to replace it with superstition?

I believe everyone has a right to privacy — just stay out of our bedrooms and our doctor’s offices. This also applies to our political meetings.

Everyone is a minority, so we should all have the same rights. I don’t use the excuse “it’s the free market” as a shield for screwing the weak or disadvantaged. I think the confederate flag has been hijacked as a symbol of prejudice and not of heritage. My heroes are JFK, Monty Python and whoever canceled “Dr.” Laura, fake medicine woman.

I don’t believe the rich need the government’s help to become obscenely wealthy. I don’t believe a safety net for citizens who fall on hard times is the cause of our trillions of dollars in debt.

I know Fox News is fake, and I don’t waste my time arguing about it. I know global warming is real and our oil addiction is not going to be cured by selling more SUVs.

I recognize we all have a skin color, and the different shades should have no bearing on our access to the voting booth. No Christian has ever been persecuted in America, so shut up already.

I think cops should apply the law without being above the law. I also think they should stop drunk drivers and strip them of their license, even if their father is the president. I think if you are too stupid to vote on the issues instead of by who you would rather get smashed with in a bar, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I think if you are selling energy, you should not be allowed to cause fake shortages of gas or electricity in order to line your own pockets with vast profits. I believe drugs sold as food supplements should be tested for safety and drinking water should not be filled with arsenic and mining waste. I think private schools and golf club memberships are fine, but please don’t pretend they are business costs you should be allowed to deduct on your taxes.

I think refusing to investigate the circumstances leading up to the murder of 3,000 Americans should be considered treason.

I’m neither a communist nor an anarchist, no matter how desperately the corporate-owned mainstream media would like the public to believe otherwise.

If that makes me a GOOD American, then yes, I’m a GOOD American. If you too are a good American, please forward this to everyone you know.

We need our country back!

Sincerely,
(Your Name)

1. Signed by a single author, including the author's address and phone number (not for publication, but required in event author must be contacted for clarification);

2. Free of libelous content and personal attacks;

3. The author has not previously written a letter on the same subject or a letter on any subject in the previous 30 days.

The editor reserves the right to cease publication of letter on a specific subject
once all logical avenues of debate have been published.

Letters dealing with elections will only be published if they address specific issues;
candidate endorsements which do not address issue relevant to the election must be paid advertisements.

Opinion pages are published by the Morris Daily Herald every Monday and Wednesday.